Computer Jokes - hazards of technology on social and family life

Source : chain email

Poles, Posts and Signs - uses and safety issues

A stern warning : no pole dancing on public transport.

Don't be too anxious to get onto the train. Better late than never.

Source : email from naughty friends

Interesting Sign boards, Instructions, Posts and Banners

Signs that will make you smile, laugh, cry or not know how to react.

A satirical signboard at the zoo which I believe is both effective and authoritative but not sure if it's convincing though. Everyone believes they are sweet.

Folks are clearly impatient with the poor service and have no restraint on making their unhappiness known to everyone. Red alert in making a point.

This would be a more philosophical way of looking at things.

Take it easy and don't get too worked up. Being happy will keep you looking young.

The sign says it all : if you don't have brains, don't use this machine, can't expect a machine to do the thinking for you. Tsk ... how condescending.

Don't you feel there's a slip in the statistical assumptions? No one in the right frame of mind would agree they are mentally unbalanced.

I love this one. But I'm not sure if it will put an end to office politics, slack work attitude and poor ethics.



Answering call of nature : hygiene issues

A multilingual signboard which hopefully dog owners and their pets could understand and adhere to. Paraphrase : Be responsible : pick up the dog poo.

We know this perennial problem. Hope you'd understand, do your part and the toilet cleaner would be grateful.

Health Concerns


Self explanatory - smokers should be more considerate and show their loving kindness to all living beings.

Last but not least, this is one of my favourites -- very insightful and thought provoking!

- Sources of some photos received from chain email are unknown.

Don't panic - something to smile about swine flu?

Here's some comic relief to lighten up admist fears and panic of swine flu :

* * *

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu -


Ignore it!


It's just spam.


* * *

True or false?
Fact : you can't get swine flu by eating pork that is well cooked.
However, you may not want to get too close to pig farms.






* * *

Whinning about tiger swine? Pork chops or carnivore cubs?

http://oneworldtalk.freeforums.org/mother-tiger-adopts-piglets-t2573.html#7022


* * *


The day pigs flew : an uncanny prediction

http://oneworldtalk.freeforums.org/swine-flu-no-kidding-t2556.html

= > swine flu

* * *



* * *
Warning :
There are so many claims about swine flu on the internet these days. People can make a potential pandemic worse by spreading misinformation and panic. Please do not assume that everything you read is truthful - emails, on unofficial websites, or via social networking sites. Some are just meant for humor, others are plain mischief.

War Humor - tongue in cheek war games but do be careful not to get hurt

I received these pictures from an American source. It captures some of the lighter moments of a sombre war. Hopefully it'll all be over soon and we would resolve differences peacefully and not to get involve in fighting in future.

I wanna to go home! Hitch a ride?




Going back to basics - there's a child in all of us.

We reserve the best till the last. This is my "favourite".

Minesweeper.

Evolution of man - funny but practical

A practical modern man carries an umbrella instead of a weapon or tool. It serves him well to shield from harmful UV rays, unexpected change to rainy weather and as a weapon for self defence against rising crime due to the worsening economic climate. Notice that we don't care much about dressing up for appearance as long as we are in comfortable clothing and footwear suitable for the season. Permission granted by model and photographer to publish photo here.

Source : DK

The blame game - it's always others' fault but ourselves or the real culprits'

Source : chain email received from a friend's American friend

Interior decor - Funny with a message

Ceiling art of a smokers' lounge - best lessons can be learnt in subtle ways.

Painted toilet flooring - only for those who dare to "lead the high life" so to speak.

Source : chain email from friends

New Word Dictionary : murder they wrote ... Altantuya

Cambridge Learners' Dictionary has reportedly coined a new word to catch up with the times. Cambridge announced the publication of 3 dictionaries for Malaysian markets. Some of the new words approved by Dewan Bahasa Dan Pustaka included the word "Altantuya". Many Malaysians are familiar with the highly publicised and bizzare murder of a Mongolian model and translator who was linked to the PM Najib. But sources said that the PM Najib is likely to ban these publications and pull out any dictionaries that are already on the shelves of book stores.



Altantuya : 1. to commit murder by the use of C4 explosive. 2. To plan to execute someone in order to silence him/her. 3. To plot to kill to avoid being harrassed or ransomed. 4. To get away with murder by having others do the dirty work for you. 5. To stay in power by whatever means possible.

The veracity of the above information remains unconfirmed to date because I don't live in Malaysia and there is likely to be more coverups and denials by the perpetrators!

Kid us not : a sleeping Prime Minister ... good luck Malaysians!

What more can you say or expect of a Prime Minister who is frequently caught sleeping through parliamentary sessions.

What is means to be Australian - funny Aussies and proud to be one

Aussie 3 ... oy ... oy ... oy !

Have some laughs today :

http://ausletters.blogspot.com/2009/04/only-in-australia-aussie-aussie-aussie.html

New Dictionary : Current Stock Market Terms

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A six to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

Source : business contacts

FAQ - Q&A - Life in the USA - meaning of economic downturn

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing. It's called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and a investment broker ... The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment broker? A tie.

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the leftside nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be reading this -- ifyou get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam.Don't fall for it.

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds', I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

Source : Email from a friend

Barbie at 50

Even Barbie grows old ...

Source : Email

Travellers' Tales - unique cultures of countries - Mexico

I received these pictures in the email from a relative. The source is unknown.

Alfresco food outlets are packed during lunch time. Many resort to using tissue paper packs and umbrellas to reserve their seats while they order the food. No guarantee that the seat won't be taken but it's better than not trying at all.

Source : Email

Revenge is sweet - clowning at Tussad - with GW Bush

My friend is hilarious. A picture speaks a thousand words. Many of us share his sentiments on former US President Bush.

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